Grasping Evil - Chapter 149(2)
Was it selfish?
Suqiu was indeed really famous for her personality of being a busybody. It was this personality that encouraged her to assist Ning City when the two powerful evil sects attacked Ning City.
However, no matter whose request was it, none could disrupt Ning Fan’s goal.
The young man did not have much time. With that fact in mind, he, of course, wasn’t willing to stay in Song Country. It would be equivalent to finding troubles for himself.
Since the demon could abduct female cultivators in a flagrant manner, it must have someone powerful it could rely on. Ning Fan did not have a hundred percent assurance in killing the demon even though he was quite strong.
All he could do was to reject Song Jun’s request by shaking his head.
“I apologize. I have important matters to settle. I do not dare to delay the journey of passing Song Country. I really wanted to lend a hand, however, I am afraid that it would only be my intention without action.”
“It’s fine. I am sorry for my reckless request. Without any further disturbance, we shall leave…”
Song Jun and the other experts sighed lightly. They had no other choice. That was human nature. One would stay aloof from things of no personal interest, let alone in the world of cultivation where making a wrong decision might take one’s life as a price.
Truth to be told, if it weren’t for their own wives and daughters being captured, Song Jun and the others would’ve never paid to the demon. They would not even pursue the demon and endanger their lives.
Since Ning Fan was not willing to provide assistance, they would not demand him forcefully. Being able to form a good relationship with the young man was already a good thing for them as having a good rapport with Ning Fan was equivalent to having a good impression from Black Devil Ning.
The three experts greeted Ning Fan and left. They were heading to other places in search of the old demon.
Right after the departure of the three experts, Ning Fan shifted his gaze and brought Bing Ling and Yue Ling into the ship.
Inside the resting room of the ship, Suqiu’s eyebrows tighten. She was extremely disgusted by Ning Fan’s action. She thought that Ning Fan decided to let them suffer for themselves rather than lending them a hand.
“Red Flower Old Demon is wreaking havoc in this country. Why don’t you help them? You are such a selfish person!”
“Selfish… Now, tell me, who is a devil cultivator here? Don’t forget, the cultivation technique that I am practicing is Dual Cultivation. I pluck female cultivators to nurture myself. Maybe, the amount of women I’ve plucked is not less than the old demon. Selfish… hehe, it doesn’t matter if I appear mean, selfish or impudent if I can provide peace and serenity to those whom I loved. I will have no regrets for all my actions. Besides, I am really running out of time. It would only be a waste if I stayed here…” Ning Fan closed his eyes and smiled bitterly.
“You! Is time that important to you!?” Suqiu replied with disappointment all over her face and ran back into her room.
She knew that Ning Fan’s choice would never be wrong. His choice was made after deep and cautious consideration. However, she inwardly hoped than Ning Fan could be as selfless as her to help those in need.
Why would I criticize Ning Fan? Why am I disappointed to see him acting selfish while I am fine with others being mean and selfish?
Is it really wrong to be selfish? Or, is it really good to be selfless?
Why didn’t I choose to help the experts of Song Country myself after they’ve been rejected by Ning Fan? Why am I still staying on the ship?
Could it be that I had become selfish too without being aware of it? If it was me in the past, I would have risked my life to save others even if there’s no support.
After cultivating the Dao for six hundred years, she had been through a lot of things. She had felt pain, sadness and exhaustion. However, she hadn’t felt that lost before just like today.
Undeniably, Ning Fan was selfish. But, if I were to face danger, would he save me as promised? Or would he just stand aside and look on coldly as a bystander?
Suqiu’s fingers embedded deeply into her palms. So, that was the reason why she lost her composure.
She did not understand and she could not comprehend why she was in such confusion.
Speaking of which, why is time so important to him? Is he really that impatient to increase his power? For a 19-year-old with a half-step Gold Core as cultivation base, the speed of his cultivation is enough to match the speed of those top talents in Rain World… Besides, his combat power is enough to defeat a Nascent Soul cultivator. Does he really think that he is not strong enough? However, I don’t seem to have asked him the reason he’s going to the Endless Sea… Maybe, he is really pressed for time.
Should I go and ask him about it?
It seemed like the timing was a little inappropriate since we just had a fight now…
After hesitating for a while, Suqiu carried her jade flute and pushed the door. She was heading to the bow of the ship.
It was already late and the sky was getting dark. Ning Fan was standing at the bow alone while the sun was setting. The strong wind that blew against him made his coat flutter lightly.
It seemed like he was lost in his thoughts as he could not sense that Suqiu was approaching him. When Suqiu came near him, only then did his shoulders shiver. His reaction was analogous to the beasts being alerted in the deep forest.
Such mindfulness… That was the cautious state of mind that was developed from dangerous environment.
Suqiu couldn’t help but be curious about Ning Fan’s experience in life that made him so guarded towards external things.
He was a mystery to Suqiu. For her, it was her first time prying about other’s affairs after six hundred years of cultivation.
“Did you come to play the flute for me? I thought you were not coming.” Ning Fan did not turn his back and the way he spoke carried a bit of laughter. However, Suqiu felt that his laughter was forced. It was not out of happiness.
“I am not going to play the flute today… Can I ask you a question?” After Suqiu asked the question, she began to feel anxious. That feeling was comparable to the feeling when she saw blood for the first time after killing someone with a sword.
“Hmm?” Ning Fan was a little surprised. He thought that Suqiu came to reprimand him again.
“Why do you need time so urgently? Why are you lacking the sense of security?”
“Why? You have a good question. I have been thinking about this question for a long time when I was at Li Hen Mountain, Heaven Separation Sect and Han Guang Mountain respectively. That time, I could not understand why I am acting in such a way? Why do I cultivate Dao regardless of anything? Finally, I understand now…”
A dull look replaced Ning Fan’s smiling expression.
“If you have a tough life since young, and you had a brother who needs your protection, you may be anxious and afraid. Whenever there is trouble, you will immediately bring your little brother to escape.
“If you have an enemy so powerful that even the divine emperor of Rain World would have trouble defeating descending after a hundred years to kill your master, you will surely increase your strength regardless of anything.
“If you are used to being misunderstood, you may turn cold and detached too. If you are ignored for so many times, cruelty will start to form your personality. You will probably sink into the Devil Dao if you are insulted by hundreds of people. If you have something that you want to protect, perhaps, being selfish will be a part of your nature.
“During the battle with the devil armies, I was scared, extremely scared. I was afraid that if I died at the black corpse’s hands, I would be eliminated. Zhihe would die. Today, I finally understand my master’s feeling when he was leaving to Sword World. Do you know that my hardest difficulty in core formation was not breaking through the bottleneck of the realm, but to abandon my feelings?! Do you know my Heart’s Demon is my wife? Also, I just can’t abandon that feeling… I am reluctant to do it… Besides, when Sisi was leaving, I could easily take her down and refine her into a spiritual puppet again, but I was unwilling to do it…
“My friend Yin, do you have moments of being afraid and unwilling to kill or be selfish, but you have no other choice in life?
“If you know that your Dao is going against your love ones, what would you choose? How should you choose?
“Difficult… It is very difficult. However, you have to understand, I do not fear the old demon. If it dares to hurt my people, I will make sure that its death is certain!”
After speaking, Ning Fan’s eyes turned cold. His spirit sense was directed towards the peak of a mountain from a thousand li away in the west and he compressed it!
Then, traces of blood stains surfaced on a red camellia which appeared to be very ordinary. Besides, a strange blood which was black in colour started to flow out from its wound.
That red camellia let out a human voice. The voice was gentle and soft, as if it belonged to a girl. However, the voice contained endless killing intent.
“How could a mere Harmonious Spirit cultivator have such a strong spirit sense? It’s not any weaker than mine. Could it be an Early Nascent Soul spirit sense? Hmmph, it seemed like he had brought a lot of quality human cauldrons. There are two Early Gold Cores and one Peak Gold Core! Hehe, they are delicious...!”
In the next moment, the red camellia transformed into a woman dressed in red clothes. Out of anyone’s expectation, her appearance was utterly ugly and disgusting.
One could hear sobbing voices from the blood red pouch that was tied to her waist.
Red Flower Old Demon was a woman?!
And, she was an Early Nascent Soul cultivator?!
Suqiu did not know anything about the demon. What’s pitiful about her was that she didn't even know she was already being preyed upon by the old demon.
For Suqiu, she was extremely confused, contemplating about what Ning Fan had said.
She could not imagine what kind of childhood Ning Fan had been through, robbing him of his sense of security.
She also could not imagine that Revered Ning. who was respected by numerous people in Yue Country, had been abused by hundreds of girls before.
However, what’s out of her imagination was that Ning Fan had a Void Fragmentation enemy who would descend after a hundred years to kill his master!
After knowing all of these, Suqiu suddenly felt that her action earlier was really a mistake. Her words that claimed Ning Fan as selfish were equivalent to a sword piercing through his heart.
However, Ning Fan was still smiling in front of her.
Ning Fan who was already aware of the demon had not told Suqiu about it yet.
His smile was only an expression. It didn’t have any relevance with his emotions.
“Play the flute for me. Today I want to listen to ‘Xiao Chong Shan’…”
The autumn crickets chirped incessantly last night.
Breaking my dream homebound;
it was already midnight.
I got up, and alone in the yard I walked around;
on the window, the moon shone bright.
Struggling the whole life for success,
end up going back to see the pine bamboo dead.
Confiding to my lute what I have in view
But connoisseurs are few.
Who would be listening,
Though I break the string of my lute?
That was the first time Ning Fan told others about his personal matters…
Actually, there was a reason behind it. He thought that there were some similarities between him and Suqiu. She could understand the meaning behind some of his words although no explanations were given. She could feel his feelings although he did not express…
This translation originated from Liberspark.
If a mistake or mistakes were found in this chapter, feel free to comment below.
Certain name of skills will not be capitalized but italicized.
Some terms are subject to change when better suggestions are selected.