Possessing Nothing - Chapter 32
The god of suffering and penance.
He had never actually met Mush before. But he had felt his existence. When he first came into the mountain and cursed Mush, Mush muttered in his mind a few times.
Eria. There are Gods in this area. There are places where the Gods are honored. A place exists for every god. A priest uses the power of the God. The penalties that he had right now were from Mush’s power.
A haze that appeared in front of him was combining. It turned into a small girl’s figure. A girl. Yes, Mush turned into a small girl. Her black hair was long enough that it could touch the floor. Rags were worn as a robe, and there were bandages all over her body. Her two eyes were silver.
Mush called. Her face was calm for a god of suffering. She came towards Sungmin and asked.
“Why are you crying. Do you want to give up this suffering from this mountain.”
That wasn’t it. Sungmin chewed on his lower lip. Blood flowed from it. He didn’t want to give up.
Just that his end would be useless. That made him fearful. Plam made Sungmin fall in despair. He felt inferior.
Why couldn’t I be a genius.
Mush called Sungmin. Sungmin lifted his hand and rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t cry forever. Crying...didn’t change anything.
Inferiority. He ignored it. He lived and went like that in his past life. Even if he was reborn again, his 13 years of experience was actually a bad thing for him. If he did not meet WIjihoyun, Sungmin
Wouldn’t have changed at all.
“...I want to add a penalty.”
Sungmin lifted himself up.
His body was heavy.
Mush’s eyes brightened. Her face had emotion in it. Mush was looking at Sungmin with curious eyes.
“You want to add a penalty?”
He thought that maybe it was impolite to be like this to a God, but Mush didn’t seem to care. Instead, Mush seemed to like Sungmin's attitude and answer. She laughed.
“You want to add the suffering. There is no way that I wouldn’t let you do that.”
Mush added, however. Her eyes narrowed.
“But could you withstand it?”
Mush asked. She came closer. His body was a 15 year old, and was just over 160 cm. Mush was a head shorter than that Sungmin.
“You can’t even hold the 2 penalties that you have right now. But, you want to do more. You are very foolish.”
Mush laughed. Sungmin made a fist. She was right. Taste and Weight. Sungmin wasn’t even used to those two yet. The weight felt worse every time he thought about it, and it was the same for the water and food as well.
“...I can do it.”
No, I had to. Sungmin looked Mush and answered. Mush laughed.
“Is it because you came back from the dead?”
Sungmin’s face froze.
“I can see it.”
“Everything lives and dies. That is the law. Yes, Existence has living and dying. That is the principle of cause and effect.
Mush pointed at Sungmin.
“But not all existence follows the law. Overloading the law exists. If you overload the law of existence, you become immortal. But you’re different.”
Sungmin couldn’t understand. Laws and overloading and immortality was all strange things to Sungmin.
“You aren’t an immortal or an overloader, but the principle has been broken. Not everyone can see that, but as a God, I can see it.”
“...The principle was broken… so is that a bad thing for me?”
“All existence has stacks.”
“But you died and somehow defied death. That’s very strange. Your soul stacked hugely while defying the principle. It wouldn’t do anything to you when you’re living, but when you die….Haha! You’re going to suffer for ages.”
Even if he lived 13 years of life, it didn’t mean that he had 13 years of stacks. Because he had defied death, Sungmin’s stacks were incomparable to a regular humans. It didn’t mean that he had surpassed the principle, but only went against. That was a crime to existence.
“...If it’s after my death, it doesn’t matter.”
He answered. His mind wasn’t fine. After death… he would suffer for ages.
It was after death.
“My death doesn’t matter….I want another penalty.”
“I said that you can’t do it, you arrogant human.”
Mush shook her head.
“You overrate yourself. No, you’re limit isn’t that big.”
“Aren’t you the god of suffering?”
Sungmin spit out. He put his hands and tapped his chest.
“I want suffering. Why are you trying to stop me.”
“You aren’t listening.”
Mush shook her head again.
“What do you want?”
“...I want to ask you first.”
“You want to question a god without any compensation.”
“...There’s nothing I can give you…”
“How about your soul.”
“Your soul. The soul that defied the principle… it seems useful.”
“You want me to die?”
Sungmin dumbfoundedly asked. Mush laughed at that.
“No, that’s not it. Your soul isn’t mature yet. Yes...if you die. Then you can give up your soul to me.”
“...I’ll reject that.”
Sungmin swallowed and answered. To give away the soul. Mush seemed like the devil instead of a god.
“Well, you don’t have to say it now. Just think about it. I’ll answer you. What do you want to know?”
“...The reward grows every time a penalty is added. I want to know about the reward.”
“The suffering in this mountain is a reward.”
“You should have felt it. Or did you not?”
He knew. From the 3 months here, Sungmin’s technique grew quickly. His ‘skill’ went up. Like Mush said, the mountain was a reward.
“Penalties increase the reward. Your growth had gone up a lot because of your penalties. If you get more, you will grow quicker. A more painful penalty has more rewards than a smaller one.”
Sungmin nodded his head. Mush knew what he was thinking. She added.
“Yu want to cover your lack of talent with penalties. Why do you want to do such a thing? What do you want.”
“...I made a promise.”
With WIjihoyun. 10 years, no 9 now. 9 years later.
Sungmin pointed to his neck.
He wanted to get the penalty that Scarlet had. But listening to Mush, it didn’t feel like there would be much a difference if he added those skills. And Scarlet and Sungmin were in different situations. If Sungmin who had to move around a lot couldn’t wash or change clothes, there would be solution if he got a disease or something.
“I’ll say this first. Penalties get harsher as they are added. You’re the first human that said they would get 4 penalties… how long will you survive?”
Mush muttered and pointed to Sungmin.
His voice disappeared first. Sungmin tried to say something. But his voice didn’t come out. The other one was a dream. It was an awkward penalty, but Sungmin knew how awkward penalties worked very harshly.
“You will fear falling asleep every day.”
Sungmin thought that too.
Mush disappeared after saying that. It felt very awkward that his voice didn’t come out. He tried to say something, but nothing came out. He sighed and then took a branch near him.
He was going to have to write like Sogo tomorrow. Sungmin went towards the corpse of the deer that Sogo gave him. Eating was terrifying, but he couldn’t not eat.
He had to eat to live.
Sungmin silently tried to knife the corpse. Dismantling the deer wasn’t hard. The hard part was the eating. But he knew how hard the eating would be, so Sungmin’s hands couldn’t help but shiver.
The blood smelled terrible.
But he didn’t stop. Sungmin dismantled the corpse and put up a fire. It was almost night. He would have to eat… and then when the night came, he would have to sleep.
‘What would I dream about.’
Sungmin held in his fear.