My Daoist Life - 41
You Won’t Agree, Then I Won’t Get Up
“100, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205….don’t interrupt, don’t interrupt, where did I count up to? Aiyo, Teacher Lin, don’t don’t, the pain is killing me.” My biggest interest these days was to take out the money from the chocolate box and to count them one by one.
It would make Teacher Lin get angry every time. Just now I hadn’t noticed when Teacher Lin came back, otherwise I wouldn’t have been counting money in front of her. The result was miserable, Teacher Lin very proficiently pulled me by my ear. Probably, during her childhood, Teacher Lin frequently had her ears pulled by teachers, and this made her really proficient in pulling ears.
“Huang Jingyang, you brat, what do you intend to do with so much money?” Teacher Lin asked grinning happily.
“Renovate the house, marry a woman.” My ear was again pulled by this woman, indeed, cough, cough, cough.
“Didn’t you say that after growing up you wanted to marry Teacher Lin, eh?” Teacher Lin asked.
As I was saying, I nodded: “First to renovate the house. Repair it to become the most beautiful house in the village. Three floors, eh, no, four floors.”
“Why are you renovating the house to become so big for? Are you thinking of marrying several young women?” Teacher Lin asked laughingly.
“Will marry lots and lots of young women.” I said following along Teacher Lin’s words. Not paying even the slightest attention to the fact that I had fallen into a trap.
As a result, I was unexpectedly raised up by the beautiful woman, and then put down on a backless stool. My short pants were pulled down and my buttocks were hit several times making “pi pa pi pa” sounds: “You didn’t learn.”
“I spoke wrongly, I want to grow up, marry Teacher Lin, and have lots and lots of children.” I said laughing.
Teacher Lin giggled, actually she wasn’t hitting too heavily, and she just pulled up my pants: “You had better marry little blossom, it would be most suitable for giving birth.”
Little blossom was the youngest amongst our three patterned pigs. The three patterned pigs were named by me as Big Blossom, Second Blossom and Little Blossom. At the beginning of spring time, Big Blossom, Second Blossom and Little Blossom, all three gave birth one after another, each greater than the previous. The Big Blossom whelped ten, Second Blossom whelped eleven, and Little Blossom whelped thirteen in one stretch.
I pah, I marry Little Blossom. However, I had been pulled up by Teacher Lin, both legs incessantly pedalling, yet I still couldn’t touch the ground, rather it made Teacher Lin’s laugh even more pleased. I hung my head out of resignation, still being held by Teacher Lin.
“Rotten brat, still so young yet thinking of marrying lots of women, in the future you will definitely be a philanderer.” Teacher Lin pinched and pulled my cheeks.
“Master, were you again spanked by Teacher Lin?” Don’t know where Huang Shulang drilled out from, carrying much joy over seeing me in the hands of Teacher Lin. Even if I were being held by Teacher Lin, my appearance compared to other children still remained too handsome.
“Later, must call Master’s wife, understand. When I grow up, I will be taking Teacher Lin as wife.” I held my head up high and said to Huang Shulang with much panache. I had absolutely forgotten that I was still being held by Teacher Lin.
Huang Shulang somewhat hesitantly looked at Teacher Lin.
“Not hit you for just a moment, and you would tear down the roof tiles.” Teacher Lin this time used her knuckles to knock me on the head twice.
At that time, I was just thinking in my heart, a real man doesn’t fight with womenfolk.
Teacher Lin still gave me much face and let me down, “Huang Shulang, don’t listen to Huang Jingyang. You shouldn’t shout inconsiderably, otherwise I will go visit your family. Tell them you lifted Li Lijuan’s skirt.” 
Although Huang Shulang was afraid of me as a Master, he was even more afraid of Teacher Lin. At least, their family’s Huang Kui would not believe in me, Huang Shulang’s Master, but would listen to Teacher Lin.
Huang Shulang had been together with me for a long time, his brain functioned quite well, he said laughing: “Master, will we doing any special training today?”
“Certainly, mandatory special training. With me being such a fierce Master, if such a disciple like you covered with fear were to go out, I would not have any face. Later, I will make Black Bean chase after you for eight laps around the village. Also, must not be lazy, otherwise you will really end up below Black Bean’s mouth.” This fellow’s brain really short-circuited. He knew perfectly that I had just been taught a lesson by Teacher Lin, but he unexpectedly delivered himself for me to vent. I just finished him.
“Don’t, Ah.” Huang Shulang after listening went green in the face. Only, I was the Master, I had the final say.
Looking at Huang Shulang gasping and panting for breath, while all along running forward to escape Black Bean, who had been roaring, my immature mind finally came to an equilibrium.
In the second school examination, without any suspense I took the first place in the class. Having such good private tutoring, if I didn’t take first place, then there really wouldn’t be justice in the world. However, what was outside people’s expectations was that Huang Shulang cast away his booked in advance throne of being the first from the last. He had come third. This point caused everyone to be taken aback.
When I reached home holding the report card, the first thing Teacher Lin did was not praise me, but rather torture me. I was somewhat worried about whether in future my ears would grow up in the direction of Zhu Bajie. 
“Brat, did you allow Huang Shulang to copy your answers?” Teacher Lin interrogated me.
“I did not!” This time I was really wronged. I was also just thinking of going to ask that damned fatty. How many instances of domestic violence did I have to suffer because of him?
Teacher Lin saw that this time I wasn’t lying, so was a bit gentler: “Really?”
“I didn’t even sit close to him.” I pulled out my nose. I am a person of cultivation, but at that time I almost cried unexpectedly.
“Cheating during examinations is dishonest behaviour, you know? Correct any mistakes you made, but maintain your good record if you did not make them.” Teacher Lin said.
I could feel the Primordial Qi within my body wanting to violently break out. Without any evidence, I was unexpectedly put on the hotseat. Teacher Lin became more and more violent.
When I went to thoroughly interrogate Huang Shulang, he also felt wronged: “I didn’t have many people giving the test around me. Who could I have copied from?”
“How did you suddenly become so smarter?” I scratched my head.
“How would I know. My father said that my fat has become less, and I have become more intelligent.” Huang Shulang said pleased with himself.
I carefully looked at Huang Shulang, his fat had indeed lessened. Although it was only a bit, it was still a lot for that stupid fatty.
Huang Shulang following behind my butt, suddenly became smarter. Originally, when Huang Shulang had gone along with me to Ba Jiao Mountain Main Peak, his father Huang Kui hadn’t permitted Huang Shulang to come play with me, but after the middle school results were announced, Huang Kui brought several jin of foreleg meat slices to our house.
“Little Kui, what are doing this for?” Grandpa looked somewhat surprised at the big block of foreleg meat in Huang Kui’s hand.
“Second Uncle. This is my thanks to Teacher.” Huang Kui’s face was full of smiles. His face was also full of quite a lot of fat. Huang Shulang had definitely inherited his genes.
“En, so it is for Teacher Lin.” Grandpa nodded.
“This time it is for YangYang. Doesn’t my child call your little YangYang Master?” Huang Kui put the hind-leg meat that he was holding onto the table.
“For YangYang?” Grandpa was startled very much.
“Definitely it is for YangYang, my child this time got third rank in his class.”
Grandpa laughed: “Good, earlier he used to be first from the bottom, this time finally third from the bottom, finally advanced two ranks.”
Grandpa absolutely didn’t expect that Huang Shulang could obtain any good rank in test.
I came out from the room: “Grandpa, you are mistaken. Huang Shulang this time isn’t third from the last, but rather he is third from the first.”
“Impossible.” Grandpa definitely couldn’t believe.
Huang Kui’s face became awkward: “Second Uncle, this time my child is really the third ranker. You see, this is the report card.”
Grandpa took a look, and his eyes opened wide. Literature & Language 86, Mathematics 90. Really is the third ranked.
“Your ancestral graves are emitting green smoke.” Grandpa said after quite a while. 
Huang Kui’s mood also improved, why would Grandpa say anything randomly. His face was full of smiles.
“You all mustn’t suspect student Huang Shulang. This time he has achieved through his own hard work. Has really improved.”
Huang Kui walked to my front, and bowed down to me. Out of fright, I immediately hid behind Teacher Lin.
“YangYang, Uncle was confused earlier. Believing in superstition, I followed the other villagers in disliking you. I really butchering pigs turned into pig through killing. You are such an intelligent child, how could you be an unlucky star. Clearly you are the Wen Qu Star. Later, if you want to beat or scold our fatty, no problem. Second Uncle, this meat I have brought is to thank YangYang. I’ll be leaving first.” Huang Kui turned around to walk.
Inside the house, the vision of both the adults focused onto me. I hadn’t seen many aspects of the world, how could I understand these gazes. I could only feel somewhat of a chill in the air, right?
I started running at once, but my two legs were airborne, how could I run out. Teacher Lin was swift of eyes and quick of hand, and unexpectedly raised me up.
At school the next day, Ma Jindong walked to me, then dropped to his knees, bent his waist, and bowed his head into a kowtow: “Ma-Master acc-…..accept this young disciple’s-…….-obeisance.” 
I jumped in surprise, almost knelt back to Ma Jindong.
“Your father, I haven’t died, what are you kneeling at me for?” I barely stopped myself from hitting out of anger.
“I, I, I also just like Huang, Huang Shulang, want, want…… want to become a disciple.” Listening to these few words of Ma Jindong, also made me feel hurt. Because he from time to time would go into an infinite loop.
Ma Jindong was also very straightforward, since his tongue wasn’t agile, he directly kowtowed to me three times.
“I, I, I cannot take you as a disciple. Staying with you for a long time, perhaps I may even learn your stutter. When the time comes, will I be a Master, or will you be considered Master?” I really didn’t want to teach Ma Jindong, because I could get unexpectedly influenced by him.
“I……I will change.” Ma Jindong promptly said.
“Still won’t do. By the time you would change, I would begin stuttering. There is only loss.” I promptly walked away.
Ma Jindong shouted at me loudly: If you don’t agree, I won’t stand up!”
See, this is the poison of movies.